Caitlin’s Take On The Finch App

Screen shot of The Mouth & Caitlin (Caitlin's Birb and pet in her Birbhouse). The birb, The Mouth, stands in the center of the room wearing a purple shirt, purple bear (?) slippers complete with claws, a multicolored lei, some kind of maybe sunglasses on her head with heart-shaped frames. She's holding a ukelele, also purple. No pants. Next to her is her mouse, BB, wearing a fedora. In the house behind her there is a mostly purple bed (with a yellow pillow and white bear head pillow), a wall decoration showing that she completed some event, purple framed window, white bunny ceiling light, red dino clock over the purple enchanted door. Her doormat has multicolor lego shapes. The rug under her feet is...dark yellow? Behind her there's maybe a boom box on the floor (no dresser which usually goes there) and something with a green top. It's not visible because The Mouth is in front of it.

So, Martha already did her blog post about Finch, and now it’s my turn.

Listen, I’m SO into this app. I do feel the thrill and zeal dimming, just slightly, after a couple of months of daily use, but only slightly.

I do think that part of the appeal is that I missed out on Tamagachis, NeoPets, The Sims, and lots of the pet-type, virtual-reality-ish things my peers did. Derek and I got our revenge by being really into furbies. We even learned Furbish, made up our own spinoff language, and, thanks to Derek’s ability to Internet-sleuth, figured out how to make them talk and sing together, even though we never had access to the actual directions. But somehow, the furbies never scratched the “I want a little electro-pet” itch. And actually, I’m not sure Finch is quite doing that, either.

The thing is, I don’t entirely understand why, precisely, this app is working so well for me … which, in itself, kind of fascinates me. As it stands right now, Finch and VoiceOver play fairly nicely together, but I don’t get descriptions of my “birb” or anyone else’s, unless I take screenshots and run them through Be My AI, and who has time or motivation to do all that? There isn’t even an easy way for me to remind myself of what my birb is wearing, much less change and coordinate her outfits. (Martha will often laugh and tell me, “Uh, honey, your birb has no pants on right now, just so you know.)

Because, thankfully, the app isn’t punitive at all, the way others are, I don’t feel obligated to check in every day. Your birb will not be harmed if you flake out. I do enjoy the whimsical, childlike “choose your own adventure” stories you can engage with every day, as well as the surprise prizes you get from the “quests” and the Question Of the Day.

My main fun right now is saving enough rainbow stones to buy clothing and furniture, in part for me, but more so to gift the Finch friends I know in real-life. While it would be hugely helpful to receive immediate descriptions of their birbs and houses, so I could get a read on their preferred colors and aesthetics, it’s still a delightful challenge for me to choose things based solely on their real-life personality, interests, etc. This is less doable, of course, with the Finch friends I’ve found through Facebook’s Finch groups … or, as Martha and our friend Amy jointly dubbed it, “the Dark Finchie Forest.” The community has been SO kind and generous, although a lot of the interaction is pretty visual and image-centered. One opportunity which I pounced on was offered by a person who gave 50 random gifts to the first few commenters. Another person constantly does gifting posts where she’ll send you five gifts, anything you want. These people aren’t always asking for trades … in fact, rarely so, since they are extremely hardcore, already have most or all of the items, and know hacks that enable them to donate the items to others without losing the items themselves. I’ve been trying to figure out what these “gifting fairies” get out of all this labor, some of which includes detailed spreadsheets, Google Forms, contests, and gifting to hundreds of people, multiple times. So far, I haven’t discovered why they do it, other than that it brings them joy and seems to be a hobby for them.

I’m not nearly that intense about it, but it brightens up my Finch day to receive some random gifts every once in a while. Other folks online are quick to hop on as random gifters, accountability buddies, or just birb friends if you want more people in your trees to share vibes. People are also often quick to throw you a few extra plushies, which are equivalent to a ton of rainbow stones. So you can either sell these plushies as a means of buying more things, or send them along to other Finch users, especially early ones, to help them build their inventory and get started.

While I’m not doing a HUGE deep-dive into the “dark dealings,” as Martha calls the Finch folks online, I continue to be touched, and also slightly baffled, by people’s endless kindness and capacity to just … give stuff on Finch for no apparent reason. I’m trying to pay it forward as best I can. Because I have no interest in collecting sets, coordinating outfits and birdhouse decor, etc., I’m not very good at trading back or helping people find things they’re looking for. But I’m really getting a kick out of Finching with people I know IRL and treating them to little spurts of Finch joy when I find things they might like.

As for my personal goals, I’m kind of amazed by my newfound dedication. It helps that I’m currently on leave from work (that’s another blog-post for another day), so I have extraneous energy and time to work at achieving my goals. I was always that nerdy kid who wanted every prize or treat or reward, even if it wasn’t something I even cared about. (I asked doc Martha what this says about me as a person and she didn’t have much to say, so feel free to throw out theories re: what this behavior says about my personality.)

Besides reminding me to have a water bottle on hand, Finch also acts as a nice, clean daily checklist, reminding me about little things I intend to do: eating applesauce “to ward off rickets,” as we say; eating my baby-food prunes and taking extra Metamucil to help with digestion; doing odious daily chores, like cleaning out my thermos, checking on whether or not the dishes are done at any given time of day, and monitoring laundry, trash, and recycling; and, most notably, flossing and wearing my retainer. Seriously, I have struggled with consistent (okay, any) flossing and retainer-wearage my entire life, and this app singlehandedly cured me. I’m totally going to tell my dentist. I mean, I know it won’t work for nearly everyone, but it’s so fun! And so simple! And free, unless you want to pay for Plus (which I did, in a fit of pique, while under the influence of a sedative, because I got mad that I couldn’t send the summer Ice Cream vibe or buy a pair of koala slippers).

Finch has also really, really helped me build in movement throughout the day. Again, it’s a clean, easy-to-access list of goals … so, as I flick through it a couple times a day, I’m reminded about body-focused reminders: deep breaths, stretch breaks, “functional fitness,” going outside, walking after a meal, jumping jacks, and, my favorite, “jumping,” which has always been my vestibular “blindism / stim” of choice and continues to bring my joy, even in my thirties, when I encourage myself to do it despite my internalized ableism.

All this to say … this app continues to be such a delightful life hack for me, even as the world catches on fire in innumerable ways. I highly recommend it if you, like me, have a bit of a prize-craving, gift giving and receiving, surprising-people personality.

You can find me, Caitlin, and my birb, The Mouth, at Finch code:

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Happy Finching, if you’re into it … cheep!

Screen shot of The Mouth & Caitlin (Caitlin’s Birb and pet in her Birbhouse). The birb, The Mouth, stands in the center of the room wearing a purple shirt, purple bear (?) slippers complete with claws, a multicolored lei, some kind of maybe sunglasses on her head with heart-shaped frames. She’s holding a ukelele, also purple. No pants. Next to her is her mouse, BB, wearing a fedora. In the house behind her there is a mostly purple bed (with a yellow pillow and white bear head pillow), a wall decoration showing that she completed some event, purple framed window, white bunny ceiling light, red dino clock over the purple enchanted door. Her doormat has multicolor lego shapes. The rug under her feet is…dark yellow? Behind her there’s maybe a boom box on the floor (no dresser which usually goes there) and something with a green top. It’s not visible because The Mouth is in front of it.

Brrrring!

I don’t have games on my phone. I used to do duolingo (before the app got taken over by AI – Atrocious Imaginings) and word games before I knew the level of treachery at the New York Times, but that’s it. Total transparency – I do have insta on my phone. I know it’s also awful in many ways, but I’m far from perfect. And so when I’m on my phone, most of the time is spent messaging folks (we love a voice message around here), watching a youtube (yes, yes, there are problems there too) on how to manage some crochet thing, or reading a book. Plus I call my mom once a week or so. That’s it. My phone spends most of its time in a phone stand.

Caitlin, on the other hand, is VERY attached to her phone. She doesn’t do games either, but she nearly always has it in her hand. She reads a lot on her phone, and she has many more people to text than I do, plus scrolling, and YouTube. Then about a month ago she started using WaterMinder. She really appreciated the gamified way the app got her drinking more water. Every time the reminder splashes, we all sing out WowTER in big voices.

I admit that I give her a hard time about how much she’s on her phone. And she gives me a hard time when I don’t pick up or notice that someone has texted us. (bonus track at the end for more on that) That said, we were pretty comfortable in our two camps, phone-on-stand vs phone-in-hand.

Then a friend of ours was wondering about a gratitude app that we could use and share our gratitudes without too much pressure. Caitlin is kind (and as I said, very attached to her phone) and she went on a search. What did she find? She found Finch.

If you are not aware of this app, the website says:

“Meet your new self-care best friend! Finch is a self-care pet app that helps you feel prepared and positive, one day at a time.

At Finch, our goal is simple: to make daily self-care something you actually want to do — not something that feels like a chore.

We know that building healthy habits can be hard. Life gets busy, priorities shift, and it’s easy to put yourself last. That’s why Finch was created: to be a gentle, encouraging companion that helps you take small steps every day toward a more supported, balanced version of yourself.”

What they don’t tell you here is that there are cheerful chimes and rainbow stones you collect when you complete a goal. And with those rainbow stones you can buy outfits and furniture to decorate your birb house. That’s not a typo, that’s what Finch calls it. You can get micro-pets and bonus points for completing goals in different areas like Connection, Calm, Gratitude (yes, that’s how she found it), Movement and Self-Kindness.

So then wherever I was in the house I would hear this brrring! sound as well as various cheeps and dings. Caitlin thought it might function as the gratitude minder she was looking for and so I downloaded it too.

And guess what? They have some decent psych-science behind what they are doing. And it does work for the Gratitude Goal in that it reminds us to share a gratitude (in the app you cannot message each other – beyond sending Good Vibes that the app writes for you). It turns out the brrrring! sound is really fun (and motivating)! Our friend did a lovely job of decorating and dressing up her birb – and they even had a white-cane for Caitlin and sports headphones for me.

And nowadays if you were able to listen in at our house you’d hear laughter, Maite talking, singing and…brrring! Finching. I still don’t keep my phone quite as handy as Caitlin does, but I do pick it up just to log my goals several times a day. If you decide to join, and you know either of us, let us know so our birbs can be friends!

Image is a screenshot from Finch with Caitlin and my birbs and micropets. The background is a forest scene, green grass, trees, that kind of thing. Caitlin’s birb is on the left with her baby bat. She is holding blue pom poms, is wearing a rainbow shirt and is smiling and dancing. Her thought bubble has what looks like a scared robot. Next is my birb’s pet seal who is quite a bit larger than the bat because I didn’t know I could keep it from growing up so it reached toddler, I think. Then my birb is sitting on the ground next to the seal. My birb is wearing a multicolored striped shirt, red glasses, sporty headphones and has sideswept brown hair. Its thought bubble has a sailboat.

Bonus track: The other day Caitlin left me very early to do things with her mom, and I was supposed to take Maite to the vet. I was so tired, I fell back to sleep after she left, not my usual behavior. When I woke up, I leapt out of bed to give Maite her pre-procedure meds. Then I dressed and took her right outside for her walk so we wouldn’t be late. Back inside, I took a quick shower and got dressed. As I was pocketing my keys and wallet, I unlocked my phone for the address of the vet. Imagine my surprise when I saw multiple missed calls and texts from Caitlin. The vet had called, apparently, while I was blissfully sleeping and then tried her phone. They had to cancel Maite’s procedure and wanted to reschedule. Caitlin then proceeded to call me, text me and call our neighbor to get him to come and knock on our door (he didn’t. or if he did, he did it while we were out walking). I promise you, I would have looked at my phone before I left, but Caitlin really needed that immediate response!

Connections

I just want to start by saying that I am addicted to my phone as anyone else (TJ probably takes the most heat for this, so my apologies, honey) given the right circumstances. I know that it isn’t our fault, that phones and apps are designed to make us want them, to feel like we need them. They use dopamine against us, as well as the brain’s tendency to focus on the negative (some info on this from Tristan Harris).

I didn’t know much about this until my mom called me one day pretty upset over some puppies that had been found in bag in a field.

Me: Wait, which puppies? Who found them?

Mommy: I don’t know, I don’t think they were speaking in English.

Me: (suspicion creeping in – she once spent at least 10 tearful minutes telling me about a horse being treated miserably before I recognized the 1946 movie Black Beauty) Where did you see this?

Mommy: Tube! (which is how she refers to YouTube)

I looked up the video, discovered it was at least two years old, found the original poster and the follow up video that most of the puppies survived and made it into happy homes. After…

Me: How did you start watching that video, anyway?

Mommy: Well, I was looking at cute puppies, you know, like Blessing (her Pomeranian at the time). They are so funny and small! And then another video and another and then this one. Oh, so sad.

YouTube claimed at some point to make changes to the algorithm but who knows?

All of that to say, I know this isn’t about poor choices or some inborn “addictive tendency,” or even “this generation.” The whole thing is very much designed to keep us online.

Once I realized it, I have done what I can to resist it. I rarely open Tube except for specific videos. I don’t turn on notifications on my phone. I keep the ringer (all sounds, really) turned off on my phone. I have used various apps (I know, ironic, right?) over the years to keep track of my time online or to shut down automatically at 9 pm. I have the timer set on my phone these days to turn off social media after 20 minutes. It almost always surprises me when it pops up.

Meanwhile, I was recently out of town and stayed with a local family. Luckily, my housemate was terrific – we connected right from the first day. We spoke every day, sometimes for literal hours at a time. Then I got sick. My host family and housemate were rightly concerned about getting sick themselves and so I was more or less quarantined in my room.

I listened to audiobooks, but often I do that while doing other things, like chores or driving. I found myself unlocking my phone over and over again to do random searches (some prompted by the book but others just random things that popped into my head). I had to stop and reverse many times because I wasn’t really listening. I found myself reading an email from REI – like ALL the little blurbs. Did I mention I had very little internet? Yeah, that was what was saving me from social media. Without the near endless scroll of social media what I had was: incessant checking of email, reading emails I would usually just delete, crossword puzzles, other word puzzles and incessant checking of email.*

What was missing from my days that led to this drastic change in behavior? People. Like my awesome housemate (plus all my people at home). Humans are hard-wired for connection – we crave it more than food – and not having any was leading me to look for it in my phone. Sadly, mostly what I got from my phone were advertisements – both the obvious and the more subtle. It’s true I also had Signal messages and WhatsApps that helped so much, but I really did refresh my email feed every time I picked up my phone.

You might be asking, what’s your point, doc? My point is, if you notice people around you (because I’m sure you would never) who seem a little too interested in their phones, consider what points of human connection they have access too. For some folks, online connection is the bulk of their contact with other humans. If you aren’t sure, think about how you could help increase those points. TJ and I hosted our first block party about a month ago and we are planning a second one next month, in part to build just that, a bit of human connection. Showing up to events at your local library is another option – those events are harder to continue to host if no one shows up! Just by attending, you are helping maintain access points for others. Hosting a game night, or inviting people to a live music event – there are so many options. As humans, we need other humans. Let’s do what we can to create and maintain these human connections. What do you do to connect?

*I know I said this twice. It really was incessant

Image shows a red background with multiple rows of cell phones with white screens.